Smiling While Talking

 For some reason I do not know how to flirt, I also have no idea when a guy is flirting with me. 
 I am kind of broken.
 Now please don’t think I am a horrible conversationalist, I’m not. I can talk to just about anyone about just a bunch of different topics. I just can’t talk to a guy just to talk to him. 
 A long time ago it was my job to talk to people. I was a journalist and I could ask anyone anything for a story. Somewhere along the road of life though, I lost my self esteem and my confidence and well with out those two things,  flirting is just hard. 
 My niece, Lauren, tried to help me get my mojo back one night by giving me lessons on the womanly ways of flirting.
  My education was to start at the local country and western dance hall. When we got there the place was a little dead, but Lauren assured me the lack of a crowd would be good for practice. So we settled into a table and she began to instruct me. 
 “Okay, I want you to walk over to the bar, past that group of guys and smile at them. Then walk back.” She instructed. 
 “Do I order anything at the bar?” I asked.
“No.” She replied.
“Then why am I going to the bar?” I asked.
“To get their attention. Now go!” She demanded.
 So I did what she said. I pasted on a smile, did my best sashay in front of the men and went straight to the bar, turned around and returned as instructed.
 “What was that?” she asked when I got back to our table. 
 “Me following your instructions. Smile, walk, return.” 
 “That smile makes you look like like an idiot.” she said.
 “I feel like an idiot. Besides, we are in a bar, they are probably drunk” I said.
“It is 8 o’clock. They’re not drunk." She sighed. "Try again, but this time, less... crazy woman smile.”
 So I walked to the bar on the other side of the saloon, smiled at a different group of men turned around and walked back to Lauren.
“That was better. One guy looked at you.” she said.
“Which one? The one who looks like Tatum Channing?” I asked excitedly. 
“No, the one who looks like Kenny Rodgers. Remember, this is just practice.” she said. 
 Great, I had caught the eye of Methuselah’s older brother. However, being the eternal optimist, I wasn’t about to let his age get me down. Like she said, this was just practice. 
 “Okay, now you need to get him to talk to you.” Lauren said. 
“How do I do that?”
“Go say hi and ask him a question. Or tell him you like his cane, err, hat.  Say anything, just get him to speak to you.” She instructed.
 So I followed her directions. I walked straight over to his table smiled and said hi. Before I could ask him about his hat he said...
 “Hi. We'll have a couple of Bud Lights here and could you send two shots of Patron over there to that table with the sweet young things for us. Tell them they are from me and my wing-man.”
 I turned around, walked back to Lauren, grabbed her and left the club.
 Lessons were over. 
 Some time later, I was contemplating about what I was doing wrong to get a guy to talk to me. I decided I had been over thinking the whole concept and that flirting was nothing more than smiling while talking. 
 So I tried it. 
 I decided to implement my plan of “talking while smiling" in the book isle of my local grocery store. I had noticed a guy close by so I smiled at him. He smiled back and as I reached out and picked up a title, he commented it was a good read. I smiled and asked him about the book and we struck up a little conversation. 
 In my head I was flirting! I was so happy with myself for having a conversation with a stranger! He was cute, intelligent and funny. I thought maybe I could give him my email and we could go out sometime. I felt great!
 Until, a woman pushed her cart around the corner and said to the guy “Oh there you are, we need to leave and pick up the kids from your mother before seven.” 
 My self esteem fell right off the shelf I’d put it on.
 After he left I scraped up my dignity from the floor, bought the book and went home. 
 The book turned out to be a good read, but my experience turned into a great lesson.
 I gotten over a hurdle that day.
 I decided to change my definition of flirting. No longer was it about talking to a guy, just to talk to a guy. Now I view flirting in a different way. 
It is just smiling while talking.  
Two things I can do anywhere.