Looking for Mr. Right

I have not been very lucky in love.
For awhile I was, but now, not so much.
I have been a single mom for 8 years and I’ve finally realized, I have NO clue how to get a date.
I have tried just about everything. Set ups, online dating sites, divorced dads and church groups.  I am such a looser.
Here is a what I have learned on my journey to find Mr. Right.
The first experience I had in the dating pool was a set up, it was an eye opening experience to say the least...
 My friend found this guy through work she thought would be good for me and asked if she could give him my number. I said yes, I was newly divorced and trusted my friend. He called and we talked and decided to meet in person. On the phone he was great, good conversationalist, funny and seemed normal. In person he was nice to look at, funny and still easy to talk to. It was going great, until he told me about having his laptop stolen. I thought no big deal, sure it was a financial burden, but everyone backs up their laptop so info is safe. Well this guy didn’t back up his stuff and he told me that pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend naked in “creative activities” could end up on the internet. My view of him as normal went swoosh and I ran away as fast as I could.
 I told my friend to lay off setting me up.
 Then I tried online dating.
 I thought my profile was pretty good. My pics were attractive, my interest varied and my requirements honest.
   I knew I’d have to weed through some frogs to find a prince, but I was willing to give it a go.
Little did I know the princes who filled my in-box would be holding up their latest kill or catch, sitting on their mid-life crisis vehicle or smiling into the camera with their arm draped around a cut-out female.
Ever the optimist, I thought “that’s okay, I’m not against hunting, I enjoy a day on the water fishing, driving a good vehicle can be fun and that must be his sister he cut out of the pic."
So I responded to them, “Hi, I like your profile want to message me?”
Boy, oh boy, did I get the message.
“Hey baby want to get together?” 
“You sure look good in those glasses, want to play librarian and the bad boy?” 
“I’m married, are you interested in helping me and my wife spice up our marriage?”
 Click, I deactivated my account.
 So I decided to check out the single dads in my area. (Yup, I trolled the elementary school Spring Carnival in my best outfit and tightest Spanks.) I thought, with the divorce rate now and days surely there would be a man in my area right?
 There was. He and I dated for awhile, but we were just not right for each other. So we decided to just be friends.
 So I thought I needed some advice on how to find Mr. Right. Where? Well in crap romance novels of course!
 I thought I could learn some ideas on how to find the right guy for me.  All I learned was romance novel guys are billionaries with commitment issues, eight pack stomachs,  hero complexes and more baggage than a high school marching band on a road trip. No human male could live up to a romance novel guy. That is why romance novel guys are FICTION!
 Now, I have finally, I decided to try church.
 I probably would have better luck going to a mega church with a singles’ department, but my daughters like the tiny church in our area and I like it too.
 I have always known the best man for me is in church. Well, he is with me always, but I don’t always listen to him. His name... Jesus.
Yes, I know some of you will think it is corny, but for me, He works. (Don’t judge!)
 I pray for a mate who will love me and want to share his life with me and I know one day I’ll meet him.
Until then i am going to keep walking down the road of life, stumbling and messing up along the way. I will try and make good decisions, but I know I will jack up over and over again.
 So, I am just going to wait for Mr. Right to find me.
(He can look for me in the car pool line. I’ll be the one on a laptop, with the glasses, reading a crappy romance novel!)